Known for her candid opinions on Loose Women, she now serves as Britain’s most straightforward advice columnist, offering guidance on issues related to sex, relationships, and daily challenges.
Dear Coleen
I have been dealing with a difficult situation involving my mother-in-law, who tends to be intimidating and shows little regard for me, indicating that she doesn’t consider me suitable for her son.
Despite my reservations, I once assisted her with her understaffed party planning business. Unfortunately, the experience was unpleasant as she was harsh towards me, publicly scolding and criticizing me in front of others.
While I can manage her behavior towards me, I am concerned about how she treats our six-year-old daughter.
She has shown minimal interest in our daughter since her birth, always claiming to be too busy to spend quality time with her.
Consequently, our daughter does not have a close relationship with her grandmother, feels uneasy around her, and has even cried when approached for hugs, leading to awkward situations.
My husband has organized a romantic getaway for us, but he intends to have his mother babysit. I am hesitant about leaving our daughter with her. How can I address this without causing friction? What would you suggest?
Coleen’s Advice
In such a situation, I would not entrust your mother-in-law with the babysitting duties. Instead, consider asking a trusted friend or relative whom your daughter is familiar with and feels safe around.
Have an open conversation with your husband, explaining that his mother’s lack of effort with your daughter has created a sense of fear, making you uncomfortable with her babysitting responsibilities.
Express your excitement about the getaway but emphasize that your daughter’s well-being is a top priority. It’s essential to avoid a scenario where you leave your distressed daughter with her grandmother for the night.
As things stand, leaving your daughter with your mother-in-law doesn’t seem ideal for any party involved.
This situation may prompt your husband to address his mother’s role in your daughter’s life. Additionally, refrain from overextending yourself to please your mother-in-law.
While it’s important to maintain family harmony, you are not obligated to assist her if she treats you